A Totally Non-Inspirational Post About Running The London Marathon

16 Apr

People who do the Marathon more than once often say they want to get a personal best, beat a certain time, or that they didn’t give it their all the first time round. I can, with absolute certainty, say that I couldn’t have given it anything more, I’m thrilled with my time, and I have no regrets.

On Sunday, I tweeted and texted my way around the London Marathon, and as God is my witness I’LL NEVER GO MARATHONING AGAIN.


Will I be running another one? God, NO. No. Right. Now that’s over, are we ready for an inspirational post about marathons? Then let’s begin. Continue reading

Full-Size Snickers Training! Week 15: The Blerch

11 Apr


Completely forgot to post this earlier in the week – my mind has been all over the place with work events and eating like it’s going out of fashion. Post! And one to come before Sunday. Hopefully. Dear lord it’s so close!


I arrived at choir last week clutching a large glass of red – sorry Lent, we’re very much over now – and a friend said hello.

“I read your blog,” she said. “It was really funny! And the McDonald’s. But I can’t believe you actually admitted that in public.”

I said something blasé about my terrible diet at the moment, and eating everything, but it stuck with me. My eating has been appalling for the last few weeks. At the same time, I have entirely failed to get the hang of tapering, and my running has crashed to a halt of a Sunday long run, and that’s it. I saw some pictures from the Richmond half and I look even more like the tragic jelly shoved into a sock and violently beaten that I was at Marrowthon.

Reader: this is not good. Continue reading


2 Apr


I was having a bit of a lame day today in terms of nerves and food and so on – this has filled me with complete joy. Read this for why supporting Mind is a brilliant thing. Thank you so much for helping me to smash my target, and for being general legends. xxx

Full-Size Snickers Training! Week 14: Tapering Hell, Bra Hell

1 Apr


I’m in Women’s Running magazine! Thanks to @filmcharlotte for the heads up.

That picture has had some brilliant advert uses. When I was on holiday in February, it turned up on Facebook. It’s a bit weird seeing myself there - you don’t get asked, but then I haven’t asked when I’m using it  - but it is a great photo and entirely sums up how I intend to feel on marathon day.

ANYWAY. Still tapering. Taper taper taper. I treated myself to a lovely massage on Wednesday to pull my back into some semblance of order. For various reasons, I only went out once this week, which was on Mothering Sunday from my parents’ house. 8am start = 7am start. I had to pull half the underwiring out of my sports bra – auspicious start! This also means that I now have no sports bras with all their underwiring in. Is it too late to get another one and wear that in? What if it rips my chest to bits, even with Vaseline? Continue reading

Full-Size Snickers Training! Week 13: Richmond 13.1

1 Apr
This is LOVELY - fabulous nail art for a girl in the Facebook running group. I'm so getting something like this for London.

This is LOVELY – fabulous nail art for a girl in the Facebook running group. I’m so getting something like this for London.

After last time’s horrendous 20 miles, I spent a week in recovery, hiding under my bed and staring blankly at a scratch on my chest of drawers. Or at least I may as well have. We’re now in tapering mode, and everyone in my Facebook group has gone mad.

Allegedly, tapering is what you do to relax and restore your muscles to gleaming health in time for Stupid Run Race Day. Really, what happens is everyone starts FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Continue reading

Amazing New Paperweight!

25 Mar

I won an award!

photo 2

No really – I won an award. Look!



Remember my Write Club holiday with Elizabeth to Canadamerica? Well unbeknownst to me Sam, my angelic editor at The Lady, submitted my feature to the Cruise Journalism Awards. This is the feature. It is probably not as serious as some cruise features actually are.

Continue reading

Full-Size Snickers Training! Week 12: Thank You Katy Perry, from #43265

19 Mar
photo (6)

My feelings towards Ms Perry, neatly summed up in my amazing “Domestic Sluttery is 5″ present from Sian

On my fundraising page, I say there’s a 75% chance of me crying. I’m raising that to 100%, simply because if I haven’t been asleep, eating, or running this week, I’ve been sobbing like Violet Elizabeth Bott confronted with an ingallant Outlaw. Continue reading

Full-Size Snickers Training! Weeks 10-11: One Month To Go! So Thrilled About That!

13 Mar

Week 10

I ignored the Runkeeper schedule in favour of running either to or from work on Tuesday and Thursday. I loved it. Basically, excellent. The one flaw in my plan was on Thursday’s run home, when due to a clerical laundry error, I had to run dressed like this:

Vice goes running

Continue reading

Marrowthon! Running with Empire for Anthony Nolan

12 Mar
Team Empire! Aka, The Running Mag *ahthangyor*

Team Empire! Aka, The Running Mag *ahthangyor*

On Sunday, under the most beautifully Spring-like baby blue skies I’ve seen without dreaming them, me and a team from Empire magazine ran the Marrowthon 10k for Anthony Nolan, the blood cancer and bone marrow registry charity. £1380 raised so far, HOLLER!

I left Empire in 2006, but help out* at the Awards, and it doesn’t take much for me to do a race with Helen and Olly “Is there a medal?” Richards. I named our team: the frankly horrifying The Running Mag. I am so sorry. (I am not at all sorry).

*drink their booze

Continue reading

IWD2014: Becoming a woman in a hut in the French forest (and other Grimm fairytales)

7 Mar

Sunset at Persephone the Forked Woman: an entirely unseeable Anna and our friend Cat in Durham c. 2004

My university friend Anna was the first person I went running with. We did Race For Life in 2006, and it was exhausting. I’ll never forget the horror of schlumpfing down Barbican, only to see runners coming the other way and realising I’d only done 2k. THERE ARE MORE K?

Anna now runs a wonderful website – more of a community really – called Any Other Woman. I wrote this for her on AOW,  for International Women’s Day (which is tomorrow, but tomorrow is Saturday so they’re doing it today while people are actually looking at the internet.)


The moment I realised that I was a woman wasn’t when I got my period, or mastered nail polish, or achieved something otherwise monumentally female. It was in France, surrounded by male friends, all of us high as a kite on mushrooms. Continue reading


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