1(0k) up

Wow, that’s probably the most convoluted post title I’ve done in a while. What it should mean is that YES! YES! I did the British 10k yesterday, and thanks to work matching what my gorgeous sponsors dished out, I raised a SHITLOAD for the wonderful video game disability charity Special Effect (check them out, they do brilliant work).

Special Effect British 10k Yoshi costume

Full-fig Yoshi. Don’t say I don’t do anything for you people.

How do I feel today? AMAZING. How did I feel yesterday? Fucking terrible. Actually, that’s a lie. Compared to what I had steeled myself for (drowning in my own sweat and having to walk by kilometer three), it was fine. It was 25 degrees instead of Saturday’s draconian 30, and there was a vague breeze. The course had plenty of shade for us all to stick to, and there were wonderful people cheering us along.


@markb0ss (Ash) and @TnMChris (Link)

There were quite a few people who’d also dressed up in video game costumes which was brilliant: Ryu and Ken came from Firefly Studios in Battersea; I walked to the start with an incredibly well-trained Sonic, and Ash and Link turned up too. I am completely useless at running and being a human being at the same time, let alone running and talking at the same time, but it was lovely to have a friendly chat from these two while I honked something sea lion-fashion back.

The VP of Special Effect had come dressed as Thomas from Thomas Was Alone (incredibly funny game which I recommend hugely), which I neglected to get a picture of due to being a) whoppingly impressed by the costume and b) starstruck because he’s quite sexy.


I loved this amazing bunch from Natural Motion, a studio in Oxford. Costumes were all perfect – terrifyingly ancient game on the SNES, too – April O’Neill had the best wig, and due to some superhuman feat of effort, the body paint stayed on after they’d finished the race.

(Our runners were just all so nice. At one point I felt a nudge next to me, to see a Special Effect chap handing me his bottle of water. We were only about 50m from the next station so I must have looked like I was dying – it was such a nice thing to do. Thank you, Brighton Marathon Simon. At the end, Special Effect’s director handed out chocolatey fruit bars looking as though he might burst with prize.)

Lungs and spine costume at the British 10k

Lungs and spine are heroes

Loads of people had come in costumes for their charity – I will never get over the shame of being overtaken by a giant ear running at speed.

Buckingham Palace at the British 10k

Not a bad spot to walk past en route to the start! (Masturbating man not shown)

Special Effect British 10k Yoshi costume

I R runner!

Proof! Yoshi’s tongue, a party horn also left over from my 30th, disintegrated in a soggy heap just after the halfway mark and was sadly consigned to the road. Before that though I took great joy in blurting it out at random cheerers-on, all of whom though I was some sort of frog until I went past and they saw my back. And then they probably thought I was a frog with a disease.

Bad bits:

– British 10k organisation. My race pack still hasn’t arrived. I should get it “by about Tuesday”. I also got the time for someone called Kate Brown who did it in THIRTY NINE MINUTES. This is witchcraft, Kate Brown.

– The topless man wanking carefully by a tree in Green Park watching the female race goers having furtive pees before the start. On reflection, I should have thrown my water bottle at him given it was 2 litres and half-full.

– The delay to the start. I could quite happily have forgone Katrina and the Waves and a load of Motown – however good – in favour of an earlier, cooler, kick-off, but then again I wasn’t running in a wolf costume like the poor man next to me.

– I forgot to put any suncream on, other than on my face. Idiot.

Good bits:

– I found a man with a large bag who kindly gave me a good squodge of factor 45. The back of my neck and I love you random man!

– The crowd, the course, the shade, the lovely people handing out water and finishing the bloody thing without walking.

– Best of all, meeting up with all the other Special Effect runners afterwards for photos, snack bars and enormous burgers in Temple Walkabout.

– The utter euphoria of realising that I could absolutely spend the rest of the day on the sofa with some cheese, bread and an eight-pack of Morrisons ice lollies.

Next up, the Royal Parks half-marathon. Which is twice as long as this. I will look forward to that a lot.


2 thoughts on “1(0k) up

    • We find out the chip times tomorrow! I started my apps a little before I started and they said about 1h12 which is faster than when I was 25.

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