SOME NEWS! I was on TV news for the first time last week, and I’ve been very casual about it and in no way written it into people’s birthday cards. I had a smart byline, and was about two foot taller than the incredibly glamorous presenter, Dharshini David. Given we were talking about Amazon’s acquisition of Top Gear, this was amazingly apt. I have never felt more like a giant Jeremy Clarkson
I cannot overstate how cool the whole thing was. There is such a different set of skills involved in broadcasting compared to digital, and it was completely fascinating to see. When it looks as though I am being earnest and academic and pushing my glasses up my nose, that is in fact nervous sweat causing them to slide down. Sexy telly fact for you right there.
One of the reasons the whole thing was such a thrill, beyond getting my make-up done by a pro which is one of my favourite things, was that it was ticking off something I wish I’d done years ago. I try not to go in for regrets, being one of those people who mutters awful things like “Fate,” and, “Well, it makes you who you are” , but my one major regret in life is having been too nervous and too junior-feeling to say yes to going on Richard and Judy when I was 23. Once I’d asked my boss and some other people, and finally called the booker back, they’d found someone else. NB: always say yes. You can say no later, if you absolutely must or your boss says no.
So going on the actual news telly was quite a big deal. Fortunately, I was wearing a nice outfit. If I’d been on the early shift, chances are I would have looked like primordial sludge in clothes, but I’d started at 10 so had put on make-up and assembled an outfit rather than blearily rolling around on the floor and leaving the house in whatever had stuck.
This is a very long preamble to say that the green “boyfriend” jacket I bought in 2013, when Long Tall Sally was going through a purple patch, has been an absolute bloody godsend. Weddings, work, appearances on telly your parents might actually watch, everything.
I have no idea why they’re called boyfriend jackets. They’re slouchy? But also quite slim fitting? Dunno. I’ve dated several extremely slender gentlemen, but none of them wore jackets this nice. So there we go. Handily enough, as we’re in between seasons, there’s a load in the Long Tall Sally sale – here are five of the best (including one that’s not in the sale, but is yellow, and yellow is a dream).
Trust me on this. I realise yellow looks utterly terrifying, but my second best clothing discovery after wearing shoes that are the right size and accepting no crappy alternatives is wearing bright colours. Ideally, loads. The Nineties tried to make tall women wear a lot of grey and wide legged “pants”, which only succeeded in making us look like embarrassed elephants. Screw all of that. Slim fitting, bright, fantastic. No tents. There’s a ton of other jackets on sale and in the new collection if none of these strike your fancy, you big weirdo.
I’ve been away for a while so you’ve probably forgotten how much I bang on about Monsoon and Clarks. Let me ease you back in by banging you over the head with just such a paragraph.
I wore my dearly beloved jacket with a lovely yellow Roselyn dress I bought in the Monsoon sale – Monsoon sales are my happy place, along with the toiletries aisle in Waitrose – and some incredibly sensible but snazzy (silver heels! More of this sort of thing) Clarks Sandcastle Art sandals. You can still get the Roselyn in most sizes from a site called Fashionable Laughter and it’s lovely: nice length, works with a belt or sash to cinch in the waist, generally highly cheering.
Please to now discuss what items of clothing you have been wearing and finding great cheer in lately. It’s lovely to be back.